Little did I know that I have been contributing to the downfall of civilization. Damn right you are, Deuce, some of you are saying. But I can almost guarantee you’re saying it for the wrong reason.

It’s not my political views, my blogging, the way my wife and I are raising our child, or the people I hang out with. Nah, civilization will get long just fine in spite of (or, I like to think, because of) all that.

No, apparently I am contributing to the downfall of civilization through my choice of footwear:

[T]oday, flip flops are everywhere! All the time. It is like syrupy Swedish pop on a never ending loop. Flip flops, from March to October, at baseball games, the movies, the super market, school, to meet the President [photo at post], and even Church! Yes, it is that last one that really gets to me. No, not just kids. Grown men and women wearing flip flops to Church! Now I know, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, the important thing is that people are there. Fine. But I don’t like it.

I am working on a thesis that the percentage of flip flop wearers in public (beach and pool activities excluded) is directly related to the death of a culture (admittedly it is not fully developed yet). I am not saying that flip flops cause the death of culture, but I am not ruling it out. Suffice it to say, for now, that flip flops are a leading indicator of the unseriousness of a people. These are very troubling times. These are times that require work boots for men and at the very least a sensible pair of flats for women. Troubling times require serious shoes on serious people. No, shoes that boldly proclaim ‘I’m a Toys ‘R Us Kid’ are just not gonna cut it. Who has ever done anything important while wearing flip flops?

Normally, I think I usually agree with Patrick Archbold of Creative Minority Report. And even here, I agree with him, mostly.

But this is California, baby. Southern California. By the beach. Unless I’m at work (and, since I am a self-employed attorney, occasionally even then) I’m pretty much in flip-flops 24/7 year-round. None of that “from March to October” stuff for me.

Yes, I’ve even worn them to church, but when you attend an evangelical church that was founded by a surfer and meets in a rented room, that doesn’t seem so strange. I can’t imagine ever wearing them to a Catholic church, though. Those have a sense of majesty, so I think they would seem far more out of place there, and I can sure understand Archbold’s dismay. I can remember the shock of he older folks with the advent (no pun intended) of “guitar mass” back in the 60s. Sacrilege, it was!

Anyway, Archbold’s larger point is correct, even if he is a little overwrought (or writing that way for humorous effect). There are plenty of places I would not wear my flip flops. I just manage to wear them nearly 24/7 because I don’t get out much.

H/T: Pundette.